This is a terrific repost from a fellow sexual health educator, Amy Lang, and I thought it was so good that I asked her if I could repost it (Amy Lang: Birds & Bees - thanks Amy!)
Happy December! It is that gift giving time of year and a phone may be on someone's list. Before you hand one to your kid, check out the article from Defend Young Minds.
This family's way of managing their kids' phone is BRILLIANT. Read the full article here.
The best thing about their plan:
No ownership: The phone wasn't "owned" by either child.
Designated spot: It stayed on the kitchen counter and was only taken out of the home for specific needs, like soccer practice or other activities where they ight need to reach them. They used it to contact family and close friends.
Strict controls: They kept it locked down with Bark's parental controls: no browser, limited apps (just calling, texting, and a few essentials), parent-approved contacts only, and no internet access.
"The Gift of Access": Their middle schooler began safely texting with good friends and generally feeling included in a way they hadn't before due to their no phones rule.
There is no downside to doing this and I strongly encourage you to consider it for your family. Aside from peace of mind for you, the best thing about this plan is your middle schooler can text and do all the typical connecting things and be safe at the time. If you think your kid won't like this or go for it this is their only phone option - they will take it! No doubt. Remember, it is not their decision anyway.
Happy Holidays!
FYI - If you are looking for an age appropriate phone - Bark is a great brand that is extremely helpful if you are looking for an age appropriate phone (just a suggestion - I have no connection to Bark, but find them very helpful).
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